- Me: Hello?
- Telemarketer: Hello, is your mother home?
- Me: I have no mother.
- Her: Well can I speak to your father?
- Me: Yeah, which one?
- Her: Which one is home?
- Me: Well they're both home..but I don't think you want to talk to Carlos. He just went through a breakup with his boyfriend, Antonio.
- Her: Oh, so your fathers' names are Carlos and Antonio?
- Me: No, no! My fathers' names are Carlos and Mark.
- Her: So who's Antonio?
- Me: I just told you, Carlos's ex.
- Her: So Carlos was cheating?
- Me: Yes, but that's only because Mark was cheating with Edith, our neighbor.
- Her: So Carlos cheated only because Mark cheated?
- Me: No, he THOUGHT Mark was cheating.
- Her: So Mark wasn't cheating?
- Me: I never said that.
- Her: Yes, yes you did!
- Me: No I didn't.
- Her: Y-yes! You did!
- Me: Did what?
- Her: Y-you- Never mind have a nice day, goodbye.
My friends and I were playing cards and I decided to start another game. A game that had one rule. No profanity or else you have to dance to ratchet music. But of course one of my friends literally lost within 20 seconds after we started. Just shows how much we all curse when we play card games. Especially Big 2.
It was an entertaining night.
what ur average tragedy looks like after 100 years
this is so awful it’s pretty funny
A
B
C
the brazilian wandering spider’s venom can give you an erection lasting for hours
D
E
Abandoned Amusement Park in New Orleans
(Source: motionburnsthemood)
do animals think in english or in the sounds they make
this is what yahoo paid $1.1 billion for
‘sad’ backwards is ‘das’ and ‘das’ in German means ‘the’. ‘the’ has 3 letters and u know what else has 3 letters???
that’s right„ ‘pee’
what does this mean
we just don’t know
